Values Campaign for the Family and a Better World
By Claudia Sharuti
It is at home where children should learn to say: good morning, good afternoon, please, with permission, sorry, forgive me, thank you very much, thank you, I was wrong. It is at home where you also learn to be honest, be punctual, not insult, be supportive, respect everyone: friends, colleagues, authorities, elders, teachers. Also, at home, you learn to eat everything, not to speak with your mouth full, to have personal hygiene, not to throw garbage on the floor, to help parents in daily tasks, not to take what is not theirs. It is at home where you learn to love God, to be organized, to take care of your things, not to move other people’s things, to respect the rules, customs, and customs.
Because in school teachers must teach math, Spanish, history, geography, foreign language, science, chemistry, physics, biology, physical education and arts, and only reinforce what the student learned at home.
Because with what he learned at home, the individual is respected, everyone’s life and the property are respected.
Why Teenagers Like to Argue
By Greg Smalley
Most of us dislike and try to avoid conflict, especially with our children. For peace lovers, however, the bad news is that we’re always going to have conflict. Our valued individuality and need for control make them inevitable. If you have a teenager, you’ve probably already discovered that adolescence provides new challenges as you face family conflicts. One mother knew to expect conflict with her teenage son. When she arrived home from work, she met her son at the door. “We’re invited to the Stevens’ for dinner,” she said, “You’ve got thirty minutes to clean up and argue about it.”
Does it ever feel like your teenage son or daughter actually enjoys arguing with you? Many parents struggle to deal with their teenagers during this confusing time. If you want to know how to deal with teenagers, one of the most helpful things you can do for them is to understand why teens actually do enjoy arguing. Here are a couple of reasons why.
As your child hits the teenage years, a very important developmental change occurs involving their intellectual abilities. Before your son or daughter hits adolescence, can you remember a time when they thought you knew everything? They were amazed at the seemingly endless amount of knowledge you possessed. This is because younger children have difficulty looking at the bigger picture; instead, they focus on literal or concrete ideas. They also find it difficult to judge logical consistency. When adolescence hits, however, the days of literal meaning and difficulty with logic are over!
Does it ever feel like your teenage son or daughter thinks he or she knows everything? It’s not like in the past when just because you said something that it made it so. According to development expert, Jean Piaget, the changes that take place are called formal operations. Formal operations appear between the ages of eleven and fifteen. It basically means that your child moves beyond the world of actual, concrete experiences and starts to think in abstract and more logical terms. In lay language, this basically means that a teenager’s thoughts become more idealistic. They start thinking about the future, and the endless possibilities. Some teens cannot deal with all these new choices and lose hope.
This is one reason why suicide is one of the leading causes of death in adolescence. In addition to the idealistic thinking, teens now have the mental capacity for problem-solving and they can detect the logical consistency or inconsistency in a set of statements. Especially the ones you make!
It’s A Season
The reason that it’s extremely important to understand your teenager’s mental changes is because of how it can affect the conflict with your teen. If it seems like every time you mention something, that your teen wants to argue back, this can be a direct result of these developmental changes. It doesn’t necessarily mean that your teen loves terrorizing you, or that you have a terrible relationship because you argue. Instead, try thinking of your adolescent’s new mental abilities as a Christmas present. There is always great excitement and excessive usage whenever you first unwrap a present. Right now, teenagers have a need to try out or experiment with their new-found abilities.
Let Them Practice
There probably isn’t a better “practice field” for your teen to experiment with arguing than at home with you. Teenagers need to be able to utilize their new idealistic and logical abilities. But it also needs to be done in a healthy and constructive manner. One of the greatest methods I’ve found that can help parents and teenagers argue in an honoring way is found in James 1:19. “…But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.” In other words, begin the argument with your teenager with an agreement to listen and understand one another.
There probably isn’t a better “practice field” for your teen to experiment with arguing than at home with you.